// ==UserScript==
// @name aelevenymonkey
// @namespace Violentmonkey Scripts
// @match https://www.xkcd.com/*
// @match https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/*
// @match https://xkcd.com/*
// @grant none
// @version 202504111753
// @author -
// @description Tries to improve accessibility of specific websites
// ==/UserScript==
penny_arcade_data = {"https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2024/04/08/whackmen": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is speaking confidently with his eyes closed, while Tycho looks at him in the background with an inquisitive look.</p>\n<p>Gabe: This is what I came to understand.</p>\n<p>Gabe: All I was doing on Twitter was blocking people. Even people I <strong>liked!</strong> It was Whack-a-Mole on an industrialized scale.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is turning his head to talk to Tycho, with a disdained look.</p>\n<p>Gabe: In a moment of supreme clarity, I realized I could whack them all at once. Every mole. All of them. With one click.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Forever.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>The back of Tycho is partially visible, while Gabe looks confident.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Dear God. You're going to delete your Twitter?</p>\n<p>Gabe: I did it thirty-five minutes ago.</p>\n<p>Transcription note: The layout of the strips mimicks like the dialogue one of the final scenes of the Watchmen comic, where Ozymandias reveals he executed his plan thirty-five minutes ago.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/04/11/the-devil-s-crown": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>An old man is sitting.\nGabe is standing in the doorway of a traditional Japanese-style house, dressed in samurai clothes.</p>\n<p>Old man: Are you here to kill me, Samurai?</p>\n<p>Gabe: Maybe! I don't know. I skipped all the dialogue and every cutscene.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe points to an icon over the old man's head.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I just came here because there's a little thing over your head.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe looks suspicious and angry.\nHe is holding a sword blade close to the scared face of the old man.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Should I kill you? Are you, like, a dick or something?</p>\n<p>Old man: No!</p>\n<p>Gabe: I dunno. I should probably do it just to be safe.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/03/26/rock-star": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe and Tycho are sitting on the couch. Gabe is playing a game.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I gotta show you what I've been doing in AC: Shadows</p>\n<p>(Transcription note: AC stands for Assassin's Creed)</p>\n<p>Tycho: Like ninja shit?</p>\n<p>Gabe: Even cooler, gardening!</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe shows a tree to an embarassed Tycho.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Check out this <strong>young elm</strong>.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Yeah, that's... I mean, yeah.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is hugging mossy rocks.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I've got five different kinds of mossy rock!</p>\n<p>Tycho: Do you play the campaign ever?</p>\n<p>Gabe: I have to. That's how you get more <strong>rocks</strong>.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/02/05/overture": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Tycho is in the rain holding an umbrella with a sad look.</p>\n<p>Tycho: I saw the Fantastic Four trailer, and... I don't know. I think maybe there's something there.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is under the rain with his hair soaked and also looks sad.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Don't.</p>\n<p>Tycho is out of focus on the edge of the panel.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Don't what?</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe: Don't give me hope.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/02/07/kingdom-come": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe and Tycho are walking through a snowed forest. Gabe looks worried.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Some people are mad that Kingdom Come 2: Deliverance has the <strong>gay</strong> sex in there.</p>\n<p>Tycho speaks confidently.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Yeah, I think \"some people\" doth protest too much.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe: Do they think it's gonna happen on accident?</p>\n<p>Tycho: They live their entire lives this way, in constant fear. They're always just a couple dialogue options away from a homoerotic tryst.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Tycho: They're worried they're gonna order the wrong thing at Denny's and end up getting the \"Sausage Slam.\"</p>\n<p>Gabe smirks.</p>\n<p>Gabe: It happens more than you think.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/02/03/vengeance-is-mine-saith-the-lord": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Sam Altman is talking to Gabe and Tycho, who have a smug look.</p>\n<p>Sam: I'm in a bad way, guys. Remember when I stole everything? Like, everything human beings have ever accomplished? Without compensation or remorse?</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Sam cries.</p>\n<p>Sam: Well... Well... Now somebody stole all the stuff <strong>I</strong> stole and they gave it away for free!</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Close up of Gabe licking the tears off Sam's face.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/01/03/the-mirror-d-hall": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>In the computer screen, Connor Hayes, VP of Product for Generative AI, Meta, is talking to the camera with the Facebook logo behind him.</p>\n<p>Connor: \"We expect these AIs to actually, over time, exist on our platforms, kind of in the same way that accounts do.</p>\n<p>Connor: They'll have bios and profile pictures and be able to generate and share content powered by AI on the platform... That's where we see all of this going.\"</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is standing behind Tycho, who is sitting in front of a computer.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Hang on, I don't speak corporate bullshit. Can you turn on the subtitles?</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>The subtitles read:</p>\n<p>\"We've lost the young, permanently - and we're terrified of the feral Gen Alpha. But our older users, the ones who are not yet dead, won't really understand what's happening.</p>\n<p>Ultimately, investing advertising dollars in our platforms will be a hopeful but ultimately naive act, like flicking a coin into a wishing well.\"</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/01/08/helldiverinos": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe and Tycho are out in the snow. They are making a snowman.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Are they really gonna start with Helldivers 2 for the movie? Why not start with \"Helldivers\"?</p>\n<p>Tycho: Sony already made a Helldivers movie, and it's called <strong>Starship Troopers.</strong></p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Tycho: They're making a movie based on a game that is just fan-fiction of their other movie.</p>\n<p>Tycho: This is the midnight era we've entered. We're eating out of the compost bin.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe: That doesn't sound great.</p>\n<p>Tycho: But it <strong>does</strong> sound like Sony.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2025/01/29/is-it-ninja-guyden-or-ninja-gayden": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe and Tycho are sitting in a couch. Gabe is holding a game controller. Both have a worried look.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I grabbed Ninja Gaiden 2 Black and it <strong>really</strong> takes me back.</p>\n<h2>Second panel</h2>\n<p>Close up of Tycho speaking confidently.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Absolutely. Back when blood and gore were the coins of the realm.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Ninja Gaiden is a blood-soaked extravaganza seated on a throne of discarded limbs.</p>\n<h2>Third panel</h2>\n<p>Back to both of them, they have their heads twisted sideways and they look sad.</p>\n<p>Gabe: No, no.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Back to when game cameras <strong>sucked ass</strong>.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2021/07/12/witcher": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>A hot dog street vendor approaches Gabe and Tycho. Gabe is using his phone to search something augmented-reality style.</p>\n<p>Hot dog vendor: You guys playing Pokemon Go? A kid just caught a squirtle around here.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Absolutely not. We have mature tastes. That's why we play The Witcher: Monster Slayer for <strong>men.</strong></p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>The view opens and we see the hot dog stand. Gabe is pointing at something he sees in his phone.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Uh oh. We're doing you a favor, dude. You've got a Drowner here.</p>\n<p>Hot dog vendor: Is that <strong>like</strong> a Squirtle...?</p>\n<p>Gabe: No!</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Close up on Gabe and Tycho talking in an apologetical manner.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Well, yeah. Kinda. A little.</p>\n<p>Tycho: There are <strong>some</strong> overlaps.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2021/03/29/cards": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe: What do you think about this Microsoft buying Discord stuff?</p>\n<p>Tycho: I think that in five years, there will be exactly four companies and they will buy startups in booster packs like <strong>Magic Colon The Fucking Gathering</strong>.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Two old men in suits are opening card booster packs in a park. They are likely Gabe and Tycho.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I've opened like ten packs and all trash. Intersia, Telosaur, Cyaphim.... a bunch of ecommerce integration shit. It's like, I already own that. What'd you get?</p>\n<p>Tycho: I dunno. Let's see.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>A close up of a hand holding a trading game card. A speech bubble comes from off-panel saying \"Oh shiiiiiiiii\".</p>\n<p>The card name is \"XANQUE\". It has a single Bitcoin icon on the top-right, likely the cost to use it. It has a \"mobile crypto rideshare payments MOBA\" flavor text, and the following attributes:</p>\n<ul>\n<li>Churn rate to retention: 78.55</li>\n<li>Customer acquisition cost: $13.18</li>\n<li>Monthly MMR revenue: a dial graph with 102.5% in the center, a blue zone marked as 97% and a green zone marked as 103%.</li>\n</ul>\n<p>The card is labelled as 38/102 in a series.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2021/08/04/digimon-2": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe and Tycho are talking in a park bench.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Nobody at home will play Digimon with me, but I set up a started deck anyway. I got my Breeding Area ready, and my Security Stack...</p>\n<p>Tycho: Are those Digimon things?</p>\n<p>Gabe: Yeah.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is sitting alone in a table playing cards. His speech bubble from the first panel continues.</p>\n<p>Gabe: And then I drew my hand, and thought about what I wouldplay, but there was nobody on the other side of the table.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Back to the park bench.</p>\n<p>Tycho: That's... really, <strong>really</strong> sad.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I mean it's not like I set up both decks, and played against myself.</p>\n<p>Tycho: That would be way better.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/03/05/bordering-on-the-semi-tasteful": "<p>An obituary for Gary Gygax.</p>\n<p>Below his name, \"1938 - 2008\" shows his year of birth and death.</p>\n<p>A crying red dragon illustrates the obituary.</p>\n<p>Below the dragon, a text reads \"rolling in his grave\", decorated with a twenty-sided dice.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2022/03/16/gt7-2": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is in a low-light room, there's a flower vase on the table. He is looking nervously to one side.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I dunno, Luca. I feel like you roped me into your weird GT7 car sex dungeon under false pretenses.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I thought I was gonna be doing more, like... racing.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Besides the flower vase, there are salt and pepper shakers. Luca, an older man with a graying beard is talking to him.</p>\n<p>Luca: Oh, but my friend. Your <strong>heart</strong> will race as I relate to you every detail of the <strong>French Hot Hatch.</strong></p>\n<p>Gabe is scared looking at a chain tied to his wrist and the table.</p>\n<p>Gabe: Wait a second... when did you put this on me?</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Luca is smiling.</p>\n<p>Luca: Do not worry yourself about that. The steel cuff is only so you cannot escape. Ever.</p>\n<p>Gabe is looking ironically at Luca.</p>\n<p>Gabe: See, Luca, that's what makes me worry.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2022/02/23/sega-2": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is lying on a couch. Tycho is using a computer in the background.</p>\n<p>Tycho: What are we thinking about for a strip?</p>\n<p>Gabe: Mortal Kombat II is about to hit, and it's got the blood on the Genesis version, so...</p>\n<p>Tycho: What?</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe: Oh! And I just read a preview of the 32X. It's an impressive piece of hardware. I think it's gonna give the Genesis a new lease on life.</p>\n<p>Tycho turns around to face Gabe and looks surprised.</p>\n<p>Tycho: What?</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe: I forgot to mention: I don't read game news sites anymore. I <strong>only</strong> read issues of Sega Vision on the Internet Archive.</p>\n<p>Tycho looks sad.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Well, it was a good run.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2022/06/22/pluckr": "<h1>First panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe and Tycho are walking through a sea-side promenade.</p>\n<p>Gabe: You called <strong>Kara</strong> about a game, and you didn't call me?</p>\n<p>Tycho: It was a rhythm game. You have to know what is - and crucially, what is <strong>not</strong> - the beat.</p>\n<h1>Second panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is annoyed. Tycho is dancing. There's a busker playing a guitar.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I don't even think \"the beat\" is real. Whatever Gloria Estefan might have said, I'm forty-four years old now - and the rhythm hasn't gotten me yet.</p>\n<p>Gabe: I'm just saying. It woulda gotten me by now.</p>\n<h1>Third panel</h1>\n<p>Gabe is disgusted. Tycho is holding Gabe's shoulders and smiling.</p>\n<p>Tycho: I don't know why you've been cursed this way, to never feel it as God strums the universe. I am one of his strings.</p>\n<p>Tycho: Rhythm games are just a bonus.</p>", "https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/08/23/armadeaddon-ominous-moniker": "<p>See transcript at <a href=\"https://pennyarcade.fandom.com/wiki/August_21,_2006\">https://pennyarcade.fandom.com/wiki/August_21,_2006</a>.</p>"};
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transcript += "Visit <a href=\"" + edit_url + "\">" + edit_url + "</a> to edit the transcript.";
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document.getElementById("ctitle").insertAdjacentHTML("afterend", "<p>View <a href=\"" + explain_url + "\">the transcript on explain xkcd</a>.</p>");
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