☰

autoSpurdo

Convert text on every page into spurdo

  1. // ==UserScript==
  2. // @name autoSpurdo
  3. // @description Convert text on every page into spurdo
  4. // @namespace installgen2
  5. // @include *
  6. // @version 7
  7. // @grant none
  8. // ==/UserScript==
  9. (function() {
  10. 	// Return a random ebin face
  11. 	var ebinFaces = [":D", ":DD", ":DDD", ":-D", "XD", "XXD", "XDD", "XXDD", "xD", "xDD", ":dd"];
  12. 	function getEbinFace() {
  13. 		return ebinFaces[Math.floor(Math.random() * ebinFaces.length)];
  14. 	}
  15.  
  16. 	// define replacements
  17. 	var spurdoReplacements = [
  18. 		["wh", "w"],
  19. 		["th", "d"],
  20.  
  21. 		["af", "ab"],
  22. 		["ap", "ab"],
  23. 		["ca", "ga"],
  24. 		["ck", "gg"],
  25. 		["co", "go"],
  26. 		["ev", "eb"],
  27. 		["ex", "egz"],
  28. 		["et", "ed"],
  29. 		["iv", "ib"],
  30. 		["it", "id"],
  31. 		["ke", "ge"],
  32. 		["nt", "nd"],
  33. 		["op", "ob"],
  34. 		["ot", "od"],
  35. 		["po", "bo"],
  36. 		["pe", "be"],
  37. 		["pi", "bi"],
  38. 		["up", "ub"],
  39. 		["va", "ba"],
  40.  
  41. 		["ck", "gg"],
  42. 		["cr", "gr"],
  43. 		["kn", "gn"],
  44. 		["lt", "ld"],
  45. 		["mm", "m"],
  46. 		["nt", "dn"],
  47. 		["pr", "br"],
  48. 		["ts", "dz"],
  49. 		["tr", "dr"],
  50.  
  51. 		["bs", "bz"],
  52. 		["ds", "dz"],
  53. 		["es", "es"],
  54. 		["fs", "fz"],
  55. 		["gs", "gz"],
  56. 		[" is", " iz"],
  57. 		["ls", "lz"],
  58. 		["ms", "mz"],
  59. 		["ns", "nz"],
  60. 		["rs", "rz"],
  61. 		["ss", "sz"],
  62. 		["ts", "tz"],
  63. 		["us", "uz"],
  64. 		["ws", "wz"],
  65. 		["ys", "yz"],
  66.  
  67. 		["alk", "olk"],
  68. 		["ing", "ign"],
  69.  
  70. 		["ic", "ig"],
  71. 		["ng", "nk"],
  72.  
  73. 		["kek", "geg"],
  74. 		["epic", "ebin"],
  75. 		["some", "sum"],
  76. 		["meme", "maymay"],
  77. 	];
  78.  
  79. 	walk(document.body);
  80. 	function walk(node) {
  81. 		// I stole this function from here:
  82. 		// http://is.gd/mwZp7E
  83. 		var child,
  84. 			next;
  85.  
  86. 		switch (node.nodeType) {
  87. 			case 1: // Element
  88. 			case 11: // Document fragment
  89. 				child = node.firstChild;
  90.  
  91. 				while (child) {
  92. 					next = child.nextSibling;
  93. 					walk(child);
  94. 					child = next;
  95. 				}
  96. 				break;
  97. 			case 3: // Text node
  98. 				node.nodeValue = toSpurdo(node.nodeValue);
  99. 				break;
  100. 		}
  101. 	}
  102.  
  103. 	function toSpurdo(string) {
  104. 		// Convert to lowercase
  105. 		string = string.toLowerCase();
  106.  
  107. 		// apply replacements
  108. 		spurdoReplacements.forEach(function(filter) {
  109. 			var replaceFrom = new RegExp(filter[0], "gm"),
  110. 			replaceTo = filter[1];
  111.  
  112. 			string = string.replace(replaceFrom, replaceTo);
  113. 		});
  114.  
  115. 		// Replace "," and "." with ebin faces
  116. 		while (string.match(/\.|,(?=\s|$|\.)/m)) {
  117. 			string = string.replace(/\.|,(?=\s|$|\.)/m, " " + getEbinFace());
  118. 		}
  119.  
  120. 		// return spurdo'd text
  121. 		return string;
  122. 	}
  123. })();